Are you Loved or Needed?

This has always been a question to most couples, especially before marriage relationships. I have always been asking myself with this question and until now I still have yet to find out the right answer. I have had enough experiences with regard to "love" relationships and of course, it didn't last long. Good thing, I guess, I found my soul mate...we're going to celebrate our 4th Year Anniversary this coming May 24th. But sometimes, I tend to ask myself again, do I love the person I love now or do I need my partner other than love? Does my partner ask the same question as I do now? Well, I'm totally perplexed with the way our relationship is going. My partner knows what makes me happy. My partner knows what makes me sad. My partner knows whenever I needed someone to talk to. My partner knows almost everything about me...but I still don't know if those are symbolism of love. Maybe my partner just needs me because of companionship and care. Maybe I just need my partner because of financial reasons...Maybe my partner just needs me because of attention. So many questions yet until now I still don't know the right answer.

Am I loved or just needed? I guess, it's better to say BOTH...I am being LOVED and at the same time NEEDED. I'll just stick to this idea...no explanations needed. Hehehe.

Am I nonsense?

I have a very close friend of mine...very close one. He has some "crazy attitude problem." Sometimes he's nice to people and most of the time he gets irritated easily and do and say bad things to people and hurt them emotionally. That's one thing I really want to change from him, however this person doesnt want to change. He knows he has a problem with his temper and he is totally aware of what's going on in his life. Its just that he cant help and change himself.

Anyways, I was too tired last night...came home at around 7 pm in the condo from work. I've been at work yesterday for almost 12 hours already and was too exhausted because of too many people coming in to the store. But, anyways...when I came home I texted this friend of mine and ask him how he was doing. He didnt tell me anything except that his place has problems with wiring and almost got caught of fire. I asked him if things are already okay. Then he told me that an electrician came to his place already and checked their wiring. We were just texting and texting...until he changed his mood again and told me that "I am nonsense!" After all the things I've been doing to help him with his problems and other stuff, he'll just say that I am nonsense and that I deserve to be alone. What a comment...did not expect that from him...well, sometimes he does that but this time it really affected me so much. Anyways, I stopped texting him at that moment but before I did, I texted him and told him that "Bahala ka na nga sa buhay mo. Sana di ka karmahin sa mga pinaggagawa mo!"

Despite of all the efforts I did for him...helping him out with a lot of things, he'll just tell me those words?! I think I don't deserve to be treated like that. Am I really a nonsense person? Not worthy of anyone's attention? I don't think I'm like that. I guess, I need to learn how to be strong and not to be so nice with people. I think I really need to learn that. In this kind of world we live in, its a must that we use different masks to different types of people so that you won't get hurt a lot. Haayyy...

Old Mobile Phone - Gone Forever!!!

I once had a Nokia 6600. Bought it when I was still in Convergys, year 2004. Had it for almost four years and now it's GONE...I feel terribly bad about it but I had to let go and start moving on. It has all my contact numbers plus other memories from the past...

My friends, my boss and other people who are close to me kept on telling me that its just a material thing that was lost...well, they are all right. But still you can't just forget something that's been with you for a long time and now it's all gone. Gosh, I've been experiencing a lot of worst things in my life right now. First, my Aunt Lorna...then my phone.

I still have my Smart number so please try to contact me on that number. The Globe one is the one that was lost. Keep in touch guys!

Depressed!

I am so damn depressed right now. I have lots of problems and things that I need to think about. All the while I thought I was happy...but deep inside me, I am not. Things are really getting a lot more complicated for me. I know this is supposed to be a blog where I could share all the things I can/want to share but it's really hard. But let me start...

Mom had just recovered from her surgery. She had a cyst in her left breast and the only way to get rid of it is to have it removed completely. She felt bad about it...but she doesn't have any choice. Anyways, I tried to be strong...I never showed my mom that I'm in pain seeing her suffer...which I am so damn good. Yet, it felt not right to me. I am so damn affected by it. I love her...I love her so much. She'll have her 1st chemo on the 15th and I can't go and be there for her since I have work that I can't leave. I feel so bad...but I can't do anything.

I have a special someone who is in Hawaii right now. Let's just call this person, Love. We are going to celebrate our 4th year Anniversary this coming May 24th. Our relationship isn't as good as before. I don't know if Love feels the same way...I have found out that Love is still seeing the Ex...I felt mad. I felt like I was betrayed. But I just ignored it and still kept our relationship. Since then, I started meeting other people...which Love is totally aware of. I tried to make Love feel jealous...I dont know if it is/was effective. But its just making my life worse and complicated. I really dont know what to do now...I have lots of things to say here but I cant...its really quite complicated!

Anyways, if you are reading this...please do send me a message and give me an advice. I am totally lost...just by reading this blog, I know for sure, you'll agree.

My own version of Next In Line

I know I'm not a good singer but hopefully this one isn't as bad as a garbage.

Mom's Operation and my thanks to all

Mom's already at home now...she just had her operation a week ago. We were all worried about her but we didnt let her see it because we dont want her to feel upset and worried about the operation as well. The doctor allowed her to go home yesterday so I went to the hospital to pick her up but unfortunately, I had work and when I arrived at the hospital, they left already. Anyways, mom's in the house relaxing and waiting for her wound's to heal. She'll have her chemotherapy session by April 16th. I know this will really be a scary and difficult time for her because chemo has lots of side effects to our body system. I hope that I can be there for her once she has her chemo...I can't just leave work without asking anyone to substitute for me.

By the way, thanks to all of you guys for praying for my mom. I hope that you would still continue praying for her, most especially once she undergoes chemotherapy and her recovery. Thanks really...from the bottom of my heart. I know for sure, God sees every good thing you do and you will be rewarded. Thanks again.

I love you, Mom. I'm always praying for you.

I Need Your Spiritual Help

Help guys! I need all your spiritual help. Mom is sick and she has a cyst in her breast. Until now we are still clueless about the condition of her cyst because we are still waiting for her scheduled biopsy. I need your prayers guys. Please...

Hope everything will turn out okay. I love my mom so much.